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Prayer for You
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Every Day Is A Holiday
Happy Holidays!Compiled by newsletter task-mistress Going Gaga Two weeks ago, we unveiled Rob's annual springtime run for the Cabinet-level post of Fool Czar by setting forth many of his proposals for new holidays. Rousing yourselves from the rigors of "Cheery Sleepy Week," many of you were pleased to offer your own reasons to celebrate. For example, BARBARA confesses, "At the nasty, gray, tail end of February I finally summoned the secret magic I've been too timid to use: I stopped time for everyone but me. Then I blithely skipped about, shamelessly spying and puttering and sleeping and creating and stealing treats and making mischief and ignoring boundaries and straightening cushions and rummaging through drawers and just acting like I own the place and everyone in it. I was butt-naked most of the time. "I also used some residual magic to make sure I didn't age a jot. In fact, I grew younger. "By necessity, I was alone in my revels. However, I noticed everyone was in a really good mood when I started time up again. Should I do this more often?" Yes, please! While KIT reasons, "June 15 is any number of official things, such as the Feast of St. Vitus (patron of those bitten by tarantulas). But it's also the day on which Ben Franklin flew his kite and played dangerously with lightning, and the anniversary of the signing of the Magna Carta in the year 1215 -- the document which first removed powers from the monarch and gave them to the people (OK, the barons). It could be argued that without the Magna Carta, long ago, we would not have had a precedent for parts of the Declaration of Independence, surely the most American document. Therefore, I suggest the following: National Go Fly A Kite For Liberty Day." ANNE quietly suggests: "I have a new holiday for you. It's Mothers Who Don't Have Their Children Day. As a girl who gave up her baby for adoption, regular old Mother's Day can be pretty painful, as I'm sure it is for many other girls who had to make the same decision. Giving my daughter up for adoption was the most loving, motherly thing I could ever do for her, and it's not fair that so many people do not count us as mothers, too. So I suggest that there be a day recognizing the mothers who had to do the most difficult thing ever, so that their children could have all the opportunities they deserve." While CUTECYNIC crows, "[While] November 5 is Gunpowder Day, I think it should better commemorate my birthday, and my life so far, as Proud to be a Slut Day. There is nothing wrong with being a slut. I don't charge money for it, I give it away. Sure I'm promiscuous, but at least I'm safe while doing it, and I'm having the time of my life!" ANDREA suggests, "FearLESS Day [to] celebrate fearing less and less until we are fearless. Starting the month before FearLESS Day we begin working with the fear(s) that we want to release through dreams, inner child work, past life regressions, visualizations, etc. Then we would create something to depict the fear -- a painting, sculpture, mask, poem, song, etc. At the climax of the celebration we would toss our fear into a large bonfire. Then there would be good music, dancing, food, and friends, partying until the sun rose. The start of working through our fears would be the day the sun enters Scorpio (always a good time to dive down into your darkest pit and swim with the demons); FearLESS Day would be the day the sun enters Sagittarius." ANONYMOUS writes, "I propose that we celebrate the holiday I call Celebrate the Stranger. On this day, all of us who love and adore the Divine in everyone would anonymously mail letters of praise to total strangers. You know, something like this: 'Dear reader, look out your window; the world wants to give you a kiss and thank you for being the unique earthling that you are. Now go look in the mirror and smile at that beautiful work in progress. Keep up the good work! With love, a Secret Admirer.'" MISHA urges, "Do Everything Backwards Day (Heyokah Day)," advising that we "say everything's antonym ('hello' instead of 'goodbye,' 'have a crappy day' instead of 'have a nice day,' etc.) Wear your clothes inside out, walk everywhere backwards, eat dinner at breakfast time, eat breakfast at dinner time (cut your food with your fork; eat your food with your knife)." "I can't claim [my holiday]" confesses NED. "I got it from a friend named Spencer. He used to celebrate Affirm Inanimate Objects Day. He'd wander 'round saying things like, 'Walls! You're so good at being walls and holding the roof up. And floor, you keep me from falling to the center of the Earth. Table, ah, table -- you hold stuff.' I'd add that you can also lovingly caress the object you address for added warmth and connection." And LLEIGH proposes, "Be Anyone You Want Day! Your favorite celebrity, your enemy, a child, an anonymous being! ANYONE! Stump your friends, have a GUESS WHO I AM after-hours raffle dinner party. Let it be." B.D. snores, "How 'bout Sleep A Sunny Afternoon Away Day? Guilt-free for all those poor souls who love sleep and/or who are stressed, sick, fighting sick, sugar crashed, etc. Just DO IT. Take that nap. Blissfully float away. Luxuriate." While KELLY offers a plethora of new hols, listing them as: * Puff My Pastry Day: "Everyone should come up with a list of things that really puffs their pastry, i.e. makes them feel light and fluffy inside. Find a new pastry puffer-upper!" * What Would You Attempt If You Knew You Could Not Fail Day?: "When this question is asked of people, 90 percent invariably know the answer immediately. We should all take a day to think about that question, then take one step or action which would start us in the direction of completing that goal." * It Was Like Being A Worm During Shoe Season Day: "When it rains, worms come above ground to mate. Little do they know that while in mid-coitus, their little lives are about to be extinguished by someone's shoe. People should ruminate on and share past histories of almost getting away with something delicious, and then being squashed by the symbolic shoe of society's rules or what have you. If the squashing was particularly heinous, one can add 'in Seattle, no less' to the end of the phrase. Then, after commiserating and giving empathy, everyone should go out and take some good-natured risk en masse to show defiance to The Shoes. Whether this means running down Main Street nekkid or merely singing really bad karaoke, the author of said Day will not be held responsible for actions taken (although she'd like to hear about them)." ETHAN, a self-professed "available Scorpio," reasonably thinks that "at least twice a month we need a Nationwide Singles Mixing Week. Single people must wear some sort of badge, and be compelled to at least say hello to anyone else with a badge, as well as go out on at least two dates with another proud single person. The date has to include a healthy amount of laughter, a good portion of which must be directed toward the confusions of dating and flirting." NOELLE sagely suggests a new holiday for Feb. 22, writing, "Let us celebrate a day whereby we ritually re-enact the loss of someone/something beloved, seek it to the exclusion of anything else to the ends of the earth, find it devastated in pieces, put it back together again, make love to it, and watch its rebirth into something even more extraordinary than it was before we realized how much we loved and needed it: A celebration of the power of love to recover, rejuvenate, and re-lease. (Isis did that with her Osiris. She turned an 'is-was' back into an 'is-is,' hence the 02-22, and unforgiving February demands even more love than it gets.)" For reasons known only to him or her, GOLDPOWDER mysteriously proclaims Aug. 16 to be, "National Hubba-Bubba-Bubble-Gum Day." And finally, ASPINETTA responds with: "Creative Math Day! My husband said today 'It's our eight month anniversary.' I said, 'But there's only 28 days in February and we got married on the 30th.' And he replied, 'Yes, but there were a couple of months in there with 31.' Makes sense to me! (P.S. Corporate execs at energy trading companies are prohibited from celebrating creative math day.) |
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© 1995-2008 -- Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved
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