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Dare to Be Boring Day: 5/12/01

May 12, Blah, Blah, Blah

If the pressure to be an interesting person with something important to say has you on the verge of a spiritual emergency, take a placebo -- any placebo -- and hold yourself together until Saturday, May 12. That's when you can languidly bundle up your ennervation to celebrate the fifth annual "Dare to Be Boring" Day, a holiday that not only allows you, but encourages you to be as dull as you can.

Long-winded, rambling monologues full of excrutiatingly obscure and unprovocative details will be de rigueur. The more clichZs and buzz words you use, the happier and prouder you'll be. Tell worn-out old stories your friends have already heard. Flesh out your conversations with interminable and unpregnant silences. Discuss in outrageous length your plans for drip-watering, your Partridge Family album collection, and the time you almost chose the Baked Alaska for dessert, but didn't.

We all deserve a break from the oppressive demands to be stimulating and entertaining. On Dare to Be Boring Day, it will be socially unacceptable to demonstrate your wit and verve. Relax, therefore, and luxuriate in the taboo comfort of inane blandness.

And then, when you've recovered your dash and your rapier-like ability to hobnob with the poor and not-so-famous, write to us and tell us how you bored yourself and your friends into a fabulous living death.
 
 
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