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Free Will Astrology
horoscopes for week of February 3, 2000

Aries (March 21-April 19)

A dermatologist and historian are lounging on
the porch of a lodge at a nudist camp. The historian says, "Have you
read Marx?" and the dermatologist replies, "Yes, but I think they're
just from the wicker chairs." Moral of the story: As you gather all the
momentous answers to the big questions this week, Aries--and there'll be
a lot available--be keenly aware of each answerer's biases and be cagily
alert for double meanings.




Taurus (April 20-May 20)

It would be a good week to create an
international organization dedicated to establishing the reign of
beauty, truth, and justice on Earth. Oddly enough, it would also be a
fabulous time to jump-start a master plan designed to make you
impossibly happy, wildly wise, and lyrically effective by May 1, 2001.
Coincidence? No way. The interests of your private and public selves are
converging; your personal concerns and political passions will
increasingly be fed by the same insights.




Gemini (May 21-June 20)

You might need to take a course in Italian
cinema in order to understand the fresh, hot metaphors that are piling
up around you these days. (I stole most of that line from poet
Christopher Buckley.) For that matter--this is me speaking now--your
ability to understand the next chapter of your life will be sharply
improved if you find a new deity or role model to become intoxicated by.
You'd also benefit from keeping a picture of a wild woman in your sock
and taking a joyride with a spiritual sex machine. In conclusion,
Gemini, be voracious for new teachings. The more you seek out foreign
stimulation and exotic pleasures, the better able you'll be to see how
the future is exploding into the present.




Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Let's begin this horoscope with Jane
Hirshfield's poem, "Each Happiness Ringed by Lions."
Sometimes when
I take you into my body
I can almost see them--patient, circling.
Almost glimpse the moving shadow of the tail,
almost hear the hushed pad of retracted claws.
It is the moment--of this I am certain--
when they themselves are least sure.
It is the moment they could almost let us go free.

To complete this horoscope, Cancerian, please visualize the possibility
that at this turning point in your history, the lions might actually let
you go free.




Leo (July 23-August 22)

Diane, a very competitive Leo I know, just took a
Lead Class at a climbing gym she belongs to. To pass her final exam, she
was required to fall intentionally three times while attached by a rope
to the wall. She had to just let go and plummet, in other words--first
just a foot, then longer, and finally ten feet. I submit to you, Leo,
that the relationship test you'll be taking during the next six weeks
will make comparable demands. The trick to succeeding is to learn how to
plunge gracefully and to resume climbing immediately after each descent.




Virgo (August 23-September 22)

Underdogs are on an upsurge. Topdogs are on a
downswing. The supercilious masters may have money and spin doctors on
their side, but the ingenious rebels have God. It will therefore be an
excellent week for you to lovingly launch strikes, boycotts, and
protests. It'll be prime time to grunt NO NO NO NO NO NO for all the
most constructive and uplifting reasons. In light of these revelations,
Virgo, let me ask you this: Are you going to just sit there passively
and grin as some smiling tyrant tries to break off a chunk of your soul
and hurl it into the Toilet Zone? Hell, no, you're not! Don't just
question authority--give it the third degree.




Libra (September 23-October 22)

I dreamed you were a teenage shepherd leading
a mass pilgrimage. Hundreds of people with tears of joy streaming down
their faces were following you as you trekked over rolling hills through
the countryside. In your pocket was a letter you had been given by an
angel to deliver to the queen. You also carried a golden staff
surmounted by a white flag bearing an image of a red rose. Violet
butterflies swarmed above your head. The air smelled of jasmine. And you
were singing a song whose chorus went like this: I will fight for the
things that I love / with a heart full of fiercest delight / Joy and
peace are my holiest duties / Joy and peace are my God-given rights.




Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

After an exhaustive analysis of your
archetypes and gestalts, I have determined that in the next two weeks
you will thrive from associating yourself with two symbols: the ember
and the heliotrope. The ember symbolizes fire without flame: primal yet
well-contained heat and light. The heliotrope is a flower that turns to
follow the course of the sun across the sky. It represents steady,
prayerful attentiveness to the radiant source of life. I suggest you
devote relaxed time to communing with embers and heliotropes--both in
the real world and in the inner landscape of your meditating mind.




Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

When the winds blow at ten miles per
hour, a windmill produces eight times more power than it does in a
five-mile-per-hour breeze. Let that fun fact be your talisman in the
coming days, Sagittarius. It'll keep you focused on how important it is
to step up your efforts just a little more than is comfortable. To
demonstrate the technique, I will push this horoscope beyond what is
merely sufficient. Here's a magic formula, a Norwegian proverb, for you
to arm yourself with: Heroism consists of hanging on one minute
longer.




Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

A survey of 127 traditional astrologers has
determined that "bottom line" is your official cliche for the next few
weeks. I'm far from being a traditional astrologer, but just this once I
happen to agree with the herd. In the coming days you should freely
repeat the mantras "What's in it for me?" and "Prove your love, baby."
Any time you hear a big talker fling out another wild promise you should
scream "Arrrrgggggghhhhhh!" and run away. And don't even think about
going with the flow of a feel-good verbal agreement, Capricorn. Spell it
all out and write it all down, preferably with ink that's the color of
blood. (P.S.: You'll have the blessings of the party gods in March if
you scrupulously apply 1001 finishing touches in February.)




Aquarius (January 20- February 18)

In honor of the full-blown return of your
sweet, virginal innocence, I have culled a number of "thought problems"
from the children's magazine, Highlights. Summoning all the
intelligence of your inner six-year-old, please respond to the
following.

  1. Name some things you did when you were little that you
    wish you could do now.
  2. If you were to meet a real elf, what would you
    talk about?
  3. If you were given one hundred dollars to spend on someone
    else, what would you buy?
  4. Imagine that you are your favorite pet, and
    that you are asleep and dreaming. What are you dreaming of?
  5. If you
    were to paint a picture of how you feel inside, what would it look like?
  6. Jump up and spin around and make your feet end up where they started.




Pisces (February 19-March 20)

Physiologist Otto Loewi won the Nobel Prize
with the help of clues he got in a dream. Novelist Robert Louis
Stevenson credited "little people" in his dreams with providing a great
deal of material for his books. Elias Howe's patent for one of the first
sewing machines owed much to an inspirational dream he had. And now you,
Pisces, are about to follow in this grand tradition. I predict that
you'll soon receive a very practical revelation during your nocturnal
adventures. Promise me you'll keep a pen and notebook by the bed in case
the useful illumination erupts in the middle of the night.

© 1995-2009 -- Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved