Free Will Astrology : All Horoscopes (printer-friendly)

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Free Will Astrology
horoscopes for week of September 27, 2001

Aries (March 21-April 19)

In the wake of the tremendous
variety of intimate connections that bloomed for me at the
Burning Man festival, I've resolved to renounce all the boring old
words to describe relationships. For evermore, I won't refer to
my companions as "friends," "soul mates," "co-workers,"
"lovers," "partners," or "colleagues." I'll strive to conjure
a unique term for each person I bond with. Sonora will be my
lushbuddy, Diana my humbaby, Pax my plot-hatcher, David my
freewheeler, Sunyata my pirouette-teacher. As you enter into an
astrological phase when making new allies will be exceptionally
fun and full of grace, Aries, I urge you to try on a similar
attitude.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Here are three of my deepest
spiritual aspirations: 1) to develop the capacity to thrive in the
midst of raging contradictions; 2) to be discerning as I protect
myself from people's flaws while at the same time being generous
as I celebrate their beauty; 3) to refrain from dividing the world
into two groups, those who help and agree with me and those who
don't. I mention these nearly impossible goals, Taurus, because it
so happens to be a perfect time for you to make great headway in
accomplishing them.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

In response to our culture's ever-rising levels of noise and frenzy, rites of purification have
become more popular. Many people now recognize the value of
taking periodic retreats. Withdrawing from their usual
compulsions, they go on fasts, avoid mass media, practice
celibacy, or even abstain from speaking. While I approve of
cleansing ceremonies like this, I believe we should balance them
with an equal and opposite custom: the Bliss Blitz. During this
celebration of wonder, we also tune out the numbing banality of
the daily grind, but instead of shrinking into asceticism, we indulge
in uninhibited explorations of joy, release, and expansion. I'm
happy to announce, Gemini, that it's high time for you to enjoy a
Bliss Blitz.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

We Crabs are renowned for
tenacity but not for courage. It's true that our propensity to keep
plugging away at a prickly task can look a lot like heroic
resolve, but too often it's rooted in a lazy fear of change. Sorry
to sound so harsh, but I'm hoping that by spilling the
uncomfortable truth I'll incite you to demand bolder actions
from yourself in the coming weeks. As I watched the 60-foot-high wooden effigy get consumed in flames at the Burning Man
festival a few weeks ago, I prayed that the elemental metaphor of
fire would inspire me to incinerate all obstructions to my
feistiest bravery. I now extend that same prayer to you.

Leo (July 23-August 22)

The New York Times recently reported
that the basic laws of physics, perhaps even the speed of light,
may evolve as time goes on. Aside from dissipating the theological
majesty of science, this possibility also invites the delightful
hope that every axiom might be equally subject to
transformation. Take for instance the seemingly immutable
patterns that rule your relationship with money. What if you
could actually mutate them into a healthier form? The
astrological omens suggest that this is the perfect moment to do
just that.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

Having been a spiritual seeker since I
was a teenager, I long ago figured out the best possible conditions
for meditation: be perfectly still and silent in a tranquil
sanctuary in my home. Or so I thought until recent upheavals in
my life taught me a different approach. Now my most intoxicating
revelations from God come as I speak my prayers aloud during
long, vigorous walks. I highly recommend this peppier approach
to you, Virgo. The astrological omens suggest you'll reap sweet
breakthroughs if you get your body more involved in your quest
for divine communion.

Libra (September 23-October 22)

I won't be surprised if you're accused
of suffering from delusions of grandeur. You yourself may even
wonder whether the lofty fantasies that have been sweeping into
view are over the top. But as your official Reality Checker, I
assure you that while some of your wild imaginings may be too
much for you to actually manifest any time soon, many of them
are within your power to accomplish if you'll just give them
time to unfold. I choose to believe that you're now experiencing
premonitions of grandeur.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

In my entire life, I have never had
as much fun as I did at the Burning Man festival a few weeks ago.
For the first time, I felt totally at home on this planet. I was
blessed with transformative encounters with dozens of
fascinating allies who shared my spiritual and political values.
Before I returned home in my rented RV, though, I had to
do a major purge. I left 16 garbage bags at a dump, unloaded our
"gray water" and "black water" at another waste disposal unit,
and spent six hours cleaning the vehicle. According to my
astrological reckoning, Scorpio, you're now at a similar phase.
The glory and grace must now give way to scouring and sanitizing.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

I collected an embarrassment
of rich epiphanies at the Burning Man festival a few weeks ago. To
mention a few: eating sushi off the naked bellies of gorgeous
friends while dancing to the music of the best band I'd never
heard of before; facilitating the marriages of hundreds of people
to themselves in a performance I did at a chapel made
entirely of recycled plastic; exorcising my most ferocious
nemesis at the Inner Demon Rodeo; and hearing my new ally Pax
tell how he witnessed an idealistic 18-year-old woman initiate
events that led to the overthrow of the repressive Bulgarian
government in 1996. But as crazily abundant as my
surprising blessings were, Sagittarius, I suspect that you will
outdo me in the coming weeks. It's your very own prime time.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

At the recent Burning Man
festival, shock-jock (and Capricorn) Howard Stern challenged
me to an ass-kissing contest. As you might guess, everyone who
had their butts bussed in our showdown far preferred my
technique to his. I was declared the hands-down champion of the
world. Since then, though, evidence has emerged that my
competitor was not the real Stern, but a look-alike
impersonator. Now my victory is in question, my dominion
ambiguous. I predict that you will soon experience an
analogous progression, Capricorn: Apparent triumph will become
clouded by doubt. The proper response is not to feel deflated, but
rather to redouble your efforts. (In that spirit, I hereby challenge the
real Howard Stern to a supreme Kiss-Off.)

Aquarius (January 20- February 18)

Toronto astrologer Richard Geer
once asked me, "What are your minimum requirements for
paradise?" Now that I've been to Burning Man, the freak festival
in the Nevada desert, I know. In my wonderland, I'd be able to
dance to hot music any time of the day or night. Everywhere I'd go
I'd encounter perky allies who are my equals and who, like
me, are creators rather than spectators. Money would be
unnecessary; exchanges of goods and services would proceed by
bartering, and generosity would be the ruling spirit. Danger
levels would be low: I'd feel utterly safe and without fear. What
about you, Aquarius? Now that you're in an phase when you have
most power to bring heaven down to earth, I urge you to write
down your own minimum requirements for paradise.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

In the Qabalah, every Hebrew
letter is assigned a number, and so every word is also a number
derived from the addition of its letters. Gematria is the practice
of finding hidden resonance between seemingly unrelated words
that have similar numerical values. Of the many poetic truths
revealed through this art, one is particularly apropos right
now: The Hebrew words for both "serpent" and "messiah" add up
to 358. For you, it means that the part of your life you regard as
sexy, slippery, elusive, and thorny is the key to your next
adventure in illumination and salvation.

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