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Free Will Astrology
horoscopes for week of February 6, 2003
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Aries Actress Lara Flynn Boyle was a presenter at the Golden Globes Awards ceremony on January 19. She wore a pink ballerina outfit, complete with a poofy tutu, that was appropriate for an eight-year-old girl doing a dance recital. Despite her outrageously comical get-up, Boyle never cracked a hint of a playful smile while on camera. Her expression was at best piercing, at worst glowering. There was, in other words, a huge discrepancy between her apparent desire to have fun, as suggested by her costume, and her almost scary intensity. In contrast to Boyle's inability to synthesize the two sides of her Aries nature, I hope you will find the perfect blend of ferocious concentration and cheerful friskiness in the coming week.
What greater adventure is there than exploring the enigmas of your unique destiny, Aries? For more hints about the week ahead, listen to your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Many college football bowl games now include their corporate sponsors in their names: the FedEx Orange Bowl and Nokia Sugar Bowl, for instance. Some financially strapped public schools near where I live may soon go the same route, becoming Toyota Heritage High School and Washington Middle School Sponsored by Nike. This is an excellent time for you Tauruses to look for a comparable branding opportunity. Maybe you could get a playground or park bench or bridge named after you. According to the astrological omens, your power to stamp your identity on your environment is at a peak.
No one knows you better than you do, Taurus. But maybe you'll be inspired to dig up even more self-knowledge in the coming week if you tune in to your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
"Dear Dr. Brezsny: I've been told by astrologers that I'm a natural money magnet. So why am I still poor? I pray constantly to the Almighty for financial help, and twice a week I buy lottery tickets. But no luck has come my way! Please tell me whether I will win the lottery. Better yet, give me the magic winning numbers. -Gemini Who's Crazy for Green." Dear Crazy: You'll never win the lottery with your current approach. The only chance you have to generate luck of that magnitude will be if you work your ass off for the next two years to create your dream job.
How much do you want to know about your destiny in the coming week, Gemini? How far do you dare to go? For more insight into your shimmering, undulating fate, tune in to your Expanded Audio Horoscope for the coming week. The reading costs $6.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
"Use it or lose it" has long been a key dogma in the theory of evolution. Biologists have believed that if a species accidentally develops a certain new characteristic but then fails to incorporate it as a vital feature, it's gone forever. Recently, however, researchers have begun to question this tenet. They've found evidence that the "walking stick" insects known as phasmids have, over the last 300 million years, lost their wings because of disuse but then re-evolved them. I bring this up in the hope that it will encourage you, Cancerian, to recognize an equally improbable scenario in your own life: The omens say you're about to get a second chance to capitalize on an advantage you allowed to atrophy in the past.
Hungry for more inspiration, Cancerian? Curious about the unfolding mysteries? For more juicy details about your destiny in the coming week, check out your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6.
Leo (July 23-August 22)
Have you ever felt a tension between your drive to be yourself and your longing to be in love? I'm guessing you did last September, when Jupiter and Neptune were opposite each other in the sky. But when the same planetary scenario recurs in the coming days, I suspect you'll be shown a way to resolve that tension. And in early June, when Jupiter and Neptune take on the same configuration a third and last time, I predict you'll have a breakthrough in which you dramatically harmonize your drive to express your unique beauty and your urge to blend your life with another's.
Your destiny is a gorgeous mystery, Leo. Your soul is awakening more every day. The secrets of life are ripening right in front of your eyes. For more clues, consider checking out your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6.
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
Perfumes to avoid in the coming week if you're female: Addict by Christian Dior; Envy by Gucci; Baby Doll by Yves Saint Laurent. Perfumes that will bring luck and intelligence: Sunflowers by Elizabeth Arden; Intuition by Estee Lauder; Vivid by Liz Claiborne. Colognes to avoid if you're male: Obsession by Calvin Klein; Mania by Giorgio Armani; Egoiste by Chanel. Colognes that will inspire good fortune and insight: Truth by Calvin Klein; Wings by Giorgio Beverly Hills; Safari by Ralph Lauren; Horizon by Guy Laroche. (P.S. All the scent names referred to above should also be regarded as metaphors.)
Life will bring you entertaining revelations in the coming week, Virgo. To explore even deeper, dive into your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6.
Libra (September 23-October 22)
In ancient Rome, it was compulsory for everyone to learn how to gamble and throw dice from a young age. The ancient Greek legal system made it a criminal offense to remain sober during the yearly festival of Dionysus. In this tradition, I'm issuing the following mandate: By order of cosmic law, you must enjoy sexual pleasure in abundance during the coming week. Two corollaries: Your quest for erotic joy must be free of compulsive behavior. You must use all your Libran ingenuity to carry out your assignment with a spirit of love, fun, and generosity.
Want to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life in the coming week, Libra? Listen to your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
It's not easy to become yourself. Most people never figure out the trick. That's usually because they have an unreliable connection with the one source that offers unfailing guidance: the still, small voice within. They're distracted by the din of mildly interesting but useless information that our culture produces in abundance. You, on the other hand, are always pretty hot on the trail of finding out who you really are. That's one of the perks of being born a Scorpio. And in the coming weeks, you'll be able to tune in to your personal homing beacon better than ever. Prepare to receive instructions on how to become yourself twice as fast.
Want more clues, Scorpio? Need further insight? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
I suspect that in most professions, from astrology to medicine, from engineering to poetry, the proportions are similar: about 10 percent of the practitioners are really bad, 20 percent are below average, 40 percent are mediocre, 20 percent are good, and 10 percent are masters. You shouldn't assume that just because a physician has been treating patients for 15 years, he's going to help you figure out how to guard your health; nor should you hand over your fate to the first astrologer whose ad appeals to you. This principle will be especially important to observe in the coming weeks, Sagittarius. Temper your native optimism with a robust dose of discrimination. Don't just question authority; question every alleged truth, assumption, fašade, spin, and official stance.
Where do you want to go in the coming week, Sagittarius? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
"You're a flash-in-the-pan, Brezsny, a brief blip on the scene. I'll still be here inspiring readers with my astrological advice long after you're gone." That was the curse a competitor flung at me more than two decades ago when we were both young horoscope columnists. It made me mad, and motivated me to make sure that his hateful remark would never come true. My detractor died in the early 1990s, failing to make good on his vow. I felt no joy in his demise; on the contrary, I've always been grateful to him for helping to inspire my tenacity. This week, Capricorn, your assignment is to think of a comparable story in your own life. Who laid a curse on you once upon a time? What have you done to neutralize it, and what spectacular magic can you pull off to escape it forever in the coming days?
Need a few more whacks applied to your mental blocks in the coming week, Capricorn? A few more caresses administered to your growing edge? Cruise on over to your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6.
Aquarius (January 20- February 18)
Chances are good you'll dream of being naked in public sometime soon. This will be a relatively bad omen if it involves shame, but a very good omen if your predominant emotion in the dream is fun-loving pride. In either case, such a dream will signify your readiness -- indeed, your urgent need -- to reveal more of who you really are in your waking life. P.S. For those of you with an ability to induce lucid dreams, here are two recommended scenarios: Dream of being gleefully naked while delivering a stirring oral report on the flight of eagles to your high school class; dream of being naked and wearing a crown of roses as you do what you do best in front of an equally naked audience.
Got enough clues to chew on for a while, Aquarius? If you need more, give yourself the luxury of your Expanded Audio Horoscope for the coming week. The reading costs $6.
Pisces (February 19-March 20)
[Warning: The following horoscope contains a scene that may be unsuitable for prim dispositions. Read at your own risk.] According to my reading of the cosmic omens, you should take your inspiration from France's King Louis XIV (1638-1715), who often conducted court business while seated on his toilet, which he regarded as his alternate throne. I'm not suggesting that you literally imitate the royal custom, Pisces, but I do recommend you carry out an approximate metaphorical equivalent: As you carry on your business and social affairs in the coming week, eliminate waste and toxins.
Want to explore the coming week even further, Pisces? Dig deeper? Feel stronger? Consider tuning in to your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6.
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