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Aries Leo Sagittarius
Taurus Virgo Capricorn
Gemini Libra Aquarius
Cancer Scorpio Pisces
Horoscopes for week of August 27, 2009

Verticle Oracle card Aries (March 21-April 19)
What I wish for you this week is that you won't be satisfied with mediocre truths; that you'll be a fussy perfectionist focused on cutting out waste, fraud, and delusion; that you'll be itchy to know more about the unacknowledged games that are being played. Frustration, I hope, will be your holy fuel. Unsweetened lemonade, I trust, will be your rejuvenating drink. These are blessings, Aries, not curses! I pray that you'll pick one of your scabs until it bleeds so the healing process can start over -- the right way this time.

What blessings will life bring you? What challenges will you be invited to dive into? To explore the ripening trends further, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

  Verticle Oracle card Taurus (April 20-May 20)
What have you always wanted to yell from the pinnacle of the hill in the distance? This is the week to go there and yell it. What is that safe way of getting high that you've always wanted to try but never had the time for before? This is the week to try it. What is the alluring phenomenon that is always going on just outside the reach of your ordinary awareness -- the seductive pull you have always somehow resisted? This is the time to dive in and explore it. (Thanks to John Averill for his inspiration in composing this horoscope. His tweets are here.)

Need a few more whacks applied to your mental blocks? A few more caresses administered to your growing edge? Cruise on over to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

  Verticle Oracle card Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Adam and Eve were banished from the Garden of Eden because of an incident involving an apple, right? Wrong. Many biblical scholars suspect the fruit in question was either a fig, grape, or pomegranate. I mention this, Gemini, because I think you'd be wise to review your own personal myth of exile. It's time to question the story you have been telling yourself about how your paradise got lost. Evidence you discover in the coming days just might suggest that everything you've believed is at least half-wrong -- that your origins are different from what you imagine. And as for the forbidden fruit that supposedly led you astray: You may realize that it was actually a precious medicine.

Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

  Verticle Oracle card Cancer (June 21-July 22)
The coming week will be prime time to perform minor miracles without trying too hard. You'll probably have maximum success if you refrain from hoping and worrying about achieving maximum success. The cosmic currents will be likely to bend and shape themselves to accommodate your deeper needs if you proceed on the assumption that they know, better than your little ego does, what's best for you. To get yourself in the proper frame of mind to do challenging tasks without expending strenuous effort, you might want to check out this photo spread of people practicing drunk yoga.

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

  Verticle Oracle card Leo (July 23-August 22)
Are you familiar with the phenomenon known as a fire whirl? It happens on rare occasions when a fire produces a tornado-like vortex that rises up vertically, spinning madly. It's beautiful to behold but is not something you ever want to be close to. I bring this to your attention in the hope that you will not let yourself turn into the human equivalent of a fire whirl in the coming week. You're not yet close to being one, but there are signs you're headed that way. With just a modicum of adjustment, you can ensure that you'll be more like a blaze in a fireplace or a wild but controlled bonfire on a beach -- not a fire whirl.

Need more help with your riddles? Crave more support in your efforts to build your courage? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

  Verticle Oracle card Virgo (August 23-September 22)
I was listening to a sports talk show on the radio. The host had recently discovered Twitter, and was pleased with how many fans he had already accumulated. But he was not at all happy with the words "Twitter" or "tweet." Too effeminate, he said. Not macho enough for a he-man like himself to use comfortably. In fact, he promised that he would never again refer to his Twitter messages as "tweets," but would hereafter call them "spurts." Instead of "Twitter," he would say "Twister." I encourage you to draw inspiration from his example, Virgo. You're in an astrological phase when you can and should reconfigure anything that doesn't suit your needs or accommodate your spirit, whether it's the language you use, the environments you hang out in, or the processes you're working on.

No one knows you better than you do. But maybe you'll be inspired to dig up even more self-knowledge if you tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

  Verticle Oracle card Libra (September 23-October 22)
Years ago, a TV sitcom called The Andy Griffith Show ran for seven seasons on CBS. Its star, Any Griffith, played a mild-mannered sheriff in a small town in North Carolina. His sidekick was Barney Fife, a bumbling deputy with a sweet disposition. Shortly after he left the show, Griffith had a dream in which he thrashed and pummeled his co-star. When he asked his psychiatrist about the meaning of this dream violence, the shrink speculated that he was trying to kill off his old image. I recommend that exact strategy to you now, Libra. Don't actually wreak any real-life mayhem. Rather, see if you can have a dream or two in which you destroy a symbol of the life you're ready to leave behind.

What greater adventure is there than exploring the enigmas of your unique destiny? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

  Verticle Oracle card Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
What life will you be living at noon on September 1, 2014? Who will you be? How thoroughly will your dreams have come true? What kind of beauty and truth and love and justice will you be serving? Will you look back at the time between August 27 and September 21, 2009 and sigh, "If only I had initiated my Five Year Master Plan at that ripe astrological moment"? Or on September 1, 2014 will you instead be able to crow, "I can truly say that in these past five years I have become the president of my own life"?

Got enough clues to chew on for a while? If you need more, give yourself the luxury of your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

  Verticle Oracle card Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
If at some future time you sell your life story to a filmmaker who makes it into a feature film, it may have a lot to do with adventures that kick into high gear in the coming weeks. The fun will start (I hope) when you decide not to merely lie back and be victimized by your signature pain any longer. This brave act will recalibrate the cosmic scales and shift the currents of destiny that flow through you. Soon you will be making progress in untangling a mystery that has eluded your insight for a long time. You will be able to uncover the guarded secrets of a source that has for some time been tweaking your personal power without your full awareness.

How much do you want to know about your destiny? How far do you dare to go? For more insight into your intriguing fate, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

  Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
In his book From Heaven to Earth: Spiritual Living in a Market-Oriented World, Aaron Zerah riffs on the Hebrew word "nabal." It describes someone who's so staunchly concentrated on practical concerns that he becomes impractical. Please don't let this be your fate anytime soon, Capricorn. For the ultimate benefit of the bottom line, disregard the bottom line for a while. Fantasize like a teenage poet. Be as whimsical as a mystic clown. Be a sweet, fun-loving fool so you won't turn into a sour, workaholic fool.

Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

  Verticle Oracle card Aquarius (January 20- February 18)
A woman living in China's Jilin province got married in a wedding gown with a train that was 1.4 miles long. Lin Rong's dress was decorated with 9,999 red silk roses and took three months to sew. In the spirit of her record-breaking ritual, Aquarius I encourage you to be extravagant and imaginative as you celebrate a great union in the coming weeks. You have an astrological mandate to think big as you carry out a rite of passage that will lead to an upgrade in the role that collaboration and symbiosis play in your life.

Do you have enough info about yourself for now, or are you curious for more? If you'd like to go further, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

  Verticle Oracle card Pisces (February 19-March 18)
Close your eyes and imagine you're in a meadow as rain falls. Inhale the aroma of the earth as the ground is soaked. Dwell in the midst of that scent for a while, allowing it to permeate your organs and nerves. Feel its life-giving energy circulating through you. Give yourself to the memories it evokes. In my astrological opinion, experiences like this are what you need most in the coming week. Can you think of some others that would speak directly to your animal intelligence? It's a perfect time to please and excite the part of you that is a soft, warm creature.

Want to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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