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Gemini Libra Aquarius
Cancer Scorpio Pisces
 
 
Horoscopes for week of October 4, 2012

Verticle Oracle card Aries (March 21-April 19)
"In a full heart there is room for everything," said poet Antonio Porchia, "and in an empty heart there is room for nothing." That's an important idea for you to meditate on right now, Aries. The universe is conspiring for you to be visited by a tide of revelations about intimacy. And yet you won't be available to get the full benefit of that tide unless your heart is as full as possible. Wouldn't you love to be taught more about love and togetherness and collaboration?


Take inventory of the extent that "No" dominates your life. Notice how often you say or think: 1. "That's not right." 2. "I don't like that." 3. "I don't agree with that." 4. "They don't like me." 5. "I'm not very good." 6. "That should be different from what it is." For help in retraining yourself to say "Yes!" at least 51% of the time, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Thank your mother for the pain she endured while birthing you. For three minutes on the first Friday of every month, close your eyes and imagine yourself riding a wild horse through a cemetery. Fantasize that your so-called "dark side" is sweet and creamy.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Taurus (April 20-May 20)
As I turn inward and call forth psychic impressions of what's ahead for you, I'm seeing mythic symbols like whoopie cushions, rubber chickens, and pools of fake plastic vomit. I'm seeing popcorn shells that are stuck in your teeth and a dog that's eating your homework and an alarm clock that doesn't go off when it's supposed to. But as I push further into the not-too-distant future, exploring the deeper archetypal levels, I'm also tuning into a vision of fireflies in an underground cavern. They're lighting your way and leading you to a stash of treasure in a dusty corner.


How's your fight for freedom going? Are you making progress in liberating yourself from your unconscious obsessions, bad habits, and conditioned responses? For assistance and inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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When you come home after a day of triumphs, take out the garbage. Dream you're a red-tailed hawk soaring over a shopping mall. Forgive yourself for the blindness that put you in the path of those who betrayed you.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Gemini (May 21-June 20)
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." That's the opening sentence of Charles Dickens' bestselling novel A Tale of Two Cities. The author was describing the period of the French Revolution in the late 18th century, but he could just as well have been talking about our time -- or any other time, for that matter. Of course many modern cynics reject the idea that our era is the best of times. They obsess on the idea that ours is the worst of all the worst times that have ever been. When your worried mind is in control of you, you may even think that thought yourself, Gemini. But in accordance with the current astrological omens, I challenge you to be a fiery rebel: Come up with at least five reasons why this is the best of times for you personally.


Assume that your drive to experience pleasure isn't a barrier to your spiritual growth, but is in fact essential to it. Proceed on the hypothesis that cultivating joy can make you a more ethical and compassionate person. Imagine that feeling good has something important to teach you every day. For inspiration in practicing this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Visualize two versions of yourself, one male and one female, holding hands as they gaze into a reflection of the moon on a river. Keep an image of a sphinx with you at all times. Imagine you have a guardian angel who looks like Ellen Degeneres.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Cancer (June 21-July 22)
"Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life," said Pablo Picasso. That's certainly true for me. I can purify my system either by creating art myself or being in the presence of great art. How about you, Cancerian? What kinds of experiences cleanse you of the congested emotions that just naturally build up in all of us? What influences can you draw on to purge the repetitive thoughts that sometimes torment you? How do you go about making your imagination as fresh and free as a warm breeze on a sunny day? I urge you to make a study of all the things that work for you, and then use them to the max in the coming week.


"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show." So begins Charles Dickens' novel David Copperfield. I'd like to inspire you to write a story of your own that begins like that. For help, tune into your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Review in painstaking detail the history of your life, honoring every moment as if you were conducting a benevolent Judgment Day. Forgive yourself of every mistake except one.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Leo (July 23-August 22)
"Our culture peculiarly honors the act of blaming, which it takes as the sign of virtue and intellect." So said literary critic Lionel Trilling. Now I'm passing his idea on to you, Leo, just in time for the No-Blaming Season. Would you like to conjure up a surge of good karma for yourself? Then for the next ten days or so, refrain from the urge to find fault. And do your best to politely neutralize that reflex in other people who are sharing your space, even if they love to hate the same political party or idiot fringe that you do. P.S.: For extra credit, engage in speech and activity that are antidotes to the blaming epidemic. (Hint: praise, exaltation, thanks.)


I invite you to keep a running list of all the ways life delights you and helps you and energizes you. Describe everyday miracles you take for granted . . . the uncanny powers you possess . . . the small joys that occur so routinely you forget how much they mean to you . . . the steady flow of benefits bestowed on you by people you know and don't know. What works for you? What makes you feel at home in the world? For inspiration in this noble effort, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Create a royal crown for yourself out of a shower cap, rubber bands, and light bulbs. Think of the last place on Earth you'd ever want to visit, and visualize yourself having fun there. Say these words and see how they feel: "Ever since I learned to see three sides to every story, I'm finding much better stories."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.


 
  Verticle Oracle card Virgo (August 23-September 22)
One of the reasons platinum is regarded as a precious metal is that it is so infrequently found in the Earth's crust. A second reason is that there are difficulties in extracting it from the other metals it's embedded in. You typically need ten tons of ore to obtain one ounce of platinum. That's a good metaphor for the work you have ahead of you, Virgo. The valuable resource you're dreaming of is definitely worth your hard work, persistence, and attention to detail. But to procure it, you'll probably need the equivalent of several tons of those fine qualities.


All of creation loves you very much. Even now, people you know and people you don't know are collaborating to make sure you have all you need to make your next smart move. But are you willing to start loving life back with an equal intensity? The adoration it offers you has not exactly been unrequited, but there is room for you to be more demonstrative. For help in cultivating this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Exaggerate your flaws till they turn into virtues. Dream up wilder, wetter, more interesting problems. Change your name every day for a thousand days.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Libra (September 23-October 22)
While doing research in South America four decades ago, anthropologist Claude LÚvi-Strauss found an indigenous tribe whose people claimed they could see the planet Venus in the daytime. This seemed impossible to him. But he later consulted astronomers who told him that in fact Venus does emit enough light to be visible by day to a highly trained human eye. My prediction for you, Libra, is that in the coming months you will make a metaphorically equivalent leap: You will become aware of and develop a relationship with some major presence that has been virtually undetectable. And I bet the first glimpse will come this week.


What is the obvious secret you can't quite see? How could you turn your challenges into daily gifts for yourself? For clues to mysteries like these, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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"God offers to every mind its choice between truth and repose," wrote Ralph Waldo Emerson. "Take which you please; you can never have both." Give an example from your own life that refutes or proves Emerson's assertion.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.


 
  Verticle Oracle card Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
Whether or not anyone has ever called you an "old soul" before, that term will suit you well in the coming months. A whole lot of wisdom will be ripening in you all at once. Past events that never quite made sense before will more clearly reveal the role they have played in your life's master plan. Relatively unimportant desires you've harbored for a long time will fade away, while others that have been in the background -- and more crucial to your ultimate happiness -- will rise to prominence.


Grace emerges in the ebb and flow, not just the flow. The waning reveals a different blessing than the waxing. Where are you in the great cycle of your life? For inspiration in figuring it all out, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Brag about what you can't do and don't have. Bow down to the greatest mystery you know. Scare yourself with how beautiful you are.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
In most of my horoscopes I tell you what you can do to make yourself feel good. I advise you on how you can act with the highest integrity and get in touch with what you need to learn about. Now and then, though, I like to focus on how you can help other people feel good. I direct your attention to how you can inspire them to align with their highest integrity and get in touch with what they need to learn about. This is one of those times, Sagittarius. I'm hoping you have your own ideas about how to perform these services. Here are a few of my suggestions: Listen with compassionate receptivity to the people you care for. Describe to them what they're like when they are at their best. Give them gifts they can use to activate their dormant potential.


Whether it's your time to ferment in the shadows or sing in the sun, fresh power to transform yourself is on the way. Life always delivers the creative energy you need to change into the new thing you must become. For more help in understanding it all, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Pretend your wounds are exotic tattoos. Sip the tears of someone you love. Rebel against your horoscope. Play games with no rules. Mock your fears.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.


 
  Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
If you've ever watched tennis matches, you know that some players grunt when they smack the ball. Does that help them summon greater power? Maybe. But the more important issue is that it can mask the sound of the ball striking the racket, thereby making it harder for their opponents to guess the force and spin of the ball that will be headed toward them. The coming week would be an excellent time for you to hunt down a competitive advantage that's comparable to this in your own field of endeavor.


You can learn to be lucky. It's not a mystical force you're born with, but a habit you can develop. How? For starters, be open to new experiences, trust your gut wisdom, expect good fortune, see the bright side of challenging events, and master the art of maximizing serendipitous opportunities. For more help, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Teach an animal to dance. Hire a puppet troupe to reenact your life story using marionettes in Renaissance costumes. Make believe you are the ocean king or thunder queen.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Aquarius (January 20- February 18)
Many people seem to believe that all of America's Christians are and have always been fundamentalists. But the truth is that at most 35 percent of the total are fundies, and their movement has only gotten cultural traction in the last 30 years. So then why do their bizarre interpretations of the nature of reality get so much play? One reason is that they shout so loud and act so mean. Your upcoming assignment, Aquarius, is to do what you can to shift the focus from small-minded bullies to big-hearted visionaries, whether that applies to the Christians in your sphere or any other influences. It's time to shrink any tendency you might have to get involved with energy vampires. Instead, give your full attention and lend your vigorous clout to life-affirming intelligence.


Somewhere there's a treasure that has no value to anyone but you, and a secret that's meaningless to everyone except you, and a frontier that harbors a revelation only you would know how to exploit. Why not go in search of those things? For inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Improvise a fresh bedtime story for someone you love. Put on an inflatable sumo wrestler costume and play a bagpipe as badly as possible. Watch TV with your third eye.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.


 
  Verticle Oracle card Pisces (February 19-March 18)
[WARNING: The following horoscope contains more than the usual dose of poetry.] Mirthful agitation! Surprising deliverance! I predict you will expose the effects of the smoke and mirrors, then find your way out of the labyrinth. Lucid irrationality! Deathless visions! I predict you will discover a secret you'd been hiding from yourself, then escape a dilemma you no longer need to struggle with. Mysterious blessings arriving from the frontiers! Refreshed fertility roused by a reborn dream! I predict you will begin to prepare a new power spot for your future use.


When they say "Be yourself," which self do they mean? Certainly not the self that wants to win every game and use up every resource and stand alone at the end of time on a mountain of pretty garbage. So which self is it? For guidance, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Plant orchids on a strip-mined hill. Sip holy water blessed by a smart teenage girl. Bear in mind that you are the Chosen One, and so is everyone else.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.



 
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