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Cancer Scorpio Pisces
 
 
Horoscopes for week of December 4, 2014

Verticle Oracle card Aries (March 21-April 19)
The National Science Foundation estimates that we each think at least 12,000 thoughts per day. The vast majority of them, however, are reruns of impressions that have passed through our minds many times before. But I am pleased to report that in the coming weeks, you Aries folks are primed to be far less repetitive than normal. You have the potential to churn out a profusion of original ideas, fresh perceptions, novel fantasies, and pertinent questions. Take full advantage of this opportunity. Brainstorm like a genius.

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For more help in understanding your relationship with the game of life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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If you have encountered examples of the following evidence, tell us about it. Send your testimony to the Beauty and Truth Lab at [email protected] You might want to include the following:

1. bliss that flows toward you because you've made a habit of expecting it and cultivating it;

2. good news that's really interesting; fascinating stories that provide an antidote to the media's obsession with hardship, anguish, deterioration, and death;

3. states of emotional wealth and psychological health: raw material for the manual that will be the corrective for the DSM-IV; the missing half of the story;

4. mirabilia: mysterious revelations, rejuvenating prodigies, ineffable breakthroughs, beguiling ephemera, sudden deliverance from boring evils;

5. plain old everyday miracles;

6. the good news you've gone out and created.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Taurus (April 20-May 20)
I enjoy getting spam emails with outrageous declarations that are at odds with common sense. "Eating salads makes you sick" is one of my favorites, along with "Water is worse for you than vodka" and "Smoking is healthier than exercising." Why do I love reading these laughable claims? Well, they remind me that every day I am barraged by nonsense and delusion from the news media, the Internet, politicians, celebrities, and a host of fanatics. "Smoking is healthier than exercising" is just a more extreme and obvious lie than many others that are better disguised. The moral of the story for you in the coming week: Be alert for exaggerations that clue you in to what's going on discreetly below the surface. Watch carefully for glitches in the Matrix.

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Would you like further inspiration as you scheme and dream to make the most of life's sometimes puzzling opportunities? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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You're a gorgeous mystery with a wild heart and a lofty purpose. But like all of us, you also have a dark side -- a part of your psyche that snarls and bites, that's unconscious and irrational, that is motivated by ill will or twisted passions or instinctual fears. It's your own personal portion of the world's sickness: a mess of repressed longings, enervating wounds, ignorant delusions, and unripe powers. You'd prefer to ignore it because it's unflattering or uncomfortable or very different from what you imagine yourself to be.

If you acknowledge its existence at all (many of us don't), you might call it the devil, your evil twin, your inner monster, or your personal demon. Psychologist Carl Jung referred to it as the shadow. He regarded it as the lead that the authentic alchemists of the Middle Ages sought to transmute into gold.

How are you doing on your work of changing your own personal lead into gold?



 
  Verticle Oracle card Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Every one of us, including me, has blind spots about the arts of intimacy and collaboration. Every one of us suffers from unconscious habits that interfere with our ability to get and give the love we want. What are your bind spots and unconscious habits, Gemini. Ha! Trick question! They wouldn't be blind spots and unconscious habits if you already knew about them. That's the bad news. The good news is that in the next six weeks you can catch glimpses of these blocks, and make a good start toward reducing their power to distort your relationships.

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What exactly are you looking for? How would you describe the experiences you want more than anything else? It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE could give you additional help in figuring that out.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Thousands of amazing, inexplicable, wondrous, and even supernatural events occur every day. And yet most are unreported by the media. The few that are cited are ridiculed. Why? Here's one possible reason: The people most likely to believe in miracles are superstitious, uneducated, and prone to having a blind, literalist faith in their religions' myths. Those who are least likely to believe in miracles are skilled at analytical thought, well educated, and yet prone to having a blind, literalist faith in the ideology of materialism, which dogmatically asserts that the universe consists entirely of things that can be perceived by the five human senses or detected by instruments that scientists have thus far invented.

The media is largely composed of people from the second group. It's virtually impossible for them to admit to the possibility of miracles, let alone experience them. If anyone from this group manages to escape peer pressure and cultivate a receptivity to miracles, it's because they have successfully fought against being demoralized by the unsophisticated way miracles are framed by the first group.

At the Beauty and Truth Lab we're immune to the double-barreled ignorance. When we behold astonishing synchronicities and numinous breakthroughs that seem to violate natural law, we're willing to consider the possibility that our understanding of natural law is too narrow. And yet we also refrain from lapsing into irrational gullibility; we actively seek mundane explanations for apparent miracles.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Now and then, it is in fact possible to fix malfunctioning machines by giving them a few swift kicks or authoritative whacks. This strategy is called "percussive maintenance." In the coming days, you might be inclined to use it a lot. That's probably OK. I suspect it'll work even better than it usually does. There will be problems, though, if you adopt a similar approach as you try to correct glitches that are more psychological, interpersonal, and spiritual in nature. For those, I recommend sensitivity and finesse.

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Want to hear more about the subconscious factors and hidden forces that may be influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Conventional wisdom implies that the best problems are those that place you under duress. There's supposedly no gain without pain. Stress is allegedly an incomparable spur for calling on resources that have been previously unavailable or dormant. Nietzsche's aphorism, "That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger," has achieved the status of a maxim.

We half-agree. But it's clear that stress also accompanies many mediocre problems that have little power to make us smarter. Pain frequently generates no gain. We're all prone to become habituated, even addicted, to nagging vexations that go on and on without rousing any of our sleeping genius.

There is, furthermore, another class of difficulty -- let's call it the delightful dilemma -- that neither feeds on angst nor generates it. On the contrary, it's fun and invigorating, and usually blooms when ­you're feeling a profound sense of being at home in the world. The problem of writing this book is a good example. I've had abundant fun handling the perplexing challenges with which it has confronted me.

Imagine a life in which at least half of your quandaries match this profile. Act as if you're most likely to attract useful problems when joy is your predominant mood. Consider the possibility that being in unsettling circumstances may shrink your capacity to dream up the riddles you need most; that maybe it's hard to ask the best questions when you're preoccupied fighting rearguard battles against boring or demeaning annoyances that have plagued you for many moons.

Prediction: As an aspiring lover of pronoia, you will have a growing knack for gravitating toward wilder, wetter, more interesting problems. More and more, you will be drawn to the kind of gain that doesn't require pain. You'll be so alive and awake that you'll cheerfully push yourself out of your comfort zone in the direction of your personal frontier well before you're forced to do so by fate's kicks in the ass.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Leo (July 23-August 22)
What feelings or subjects have you been wanting to talk about, but have not yet been able to? Are there messages you are aching to convey to certain people, but can't summon the courage to be as candid as you need to be? Can you think of any secrets you've been keeping for reasons that used to be good but aren't good any more? The time has come to relieve at least some of that tension, Leo. I suggest you smash your excuses, break down barriers, and let the revelations flow. If you do, you will unleash unforeseen blessings.

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To further explore the ripening blessings and interesting challenges in your life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The Yanyuwa Aboriginal people live along the coast of Australia's Northern Territory. Their word for "fat" is nalu-ngiliny. It doesn't merely refer to the greasy stuff that grows naturally under the skin of animal bodies. It's also a metaphysical term for vitality.

Anything that's rich in nalu-ngiliny is healthy. A certain landscape may be considered fat, for instance, which means that it's fertile and sacred. When acacia flowers bloom each year, it's a sign that sea turtles and the marine mammals known as dugongs, favorite foods of the Yanyuwa, are "fat" and ready to be hunted.

I have a fantasy that you will identify the things in your life that are nalu-ngiliny, and give them the honor and gratitude they deserve.


 
  Verticle Oracle card Virgo (August 23-September 22)
In 1662, Dutch painter Rembrandt finished The Oath of Claudius Civilis. It was 18 feet by 18 feet, the largest painting he ever made. For a short time, it hung on a wall in Amsterdam's Town Hall. But local burgomasters soon decided it was offensive, and returned it to the artist to be reworked. Rembrandt ultimately chopped off three-fourths of the original. What's left is now hanging in a Stockholm museum, and the rest has been lost. Art critic Svetlana Alpers wishes the entire painting still existed, but nevertheless raves about the remaining portion, calling it "a magnificent fragment." I urge you to think like Alpers. It's time to celebrate your own magnificent fragments.

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Need more whacks applied to your mental blocks? More caresses bestowed upon your growing edge? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The poet Muriel Rukeyser said the universe is composed of stories, not of atoms. The physicist Werner Heisenberg declared that the universe is made of music, not of matter.

And we believe that if you habitually expose yourself to toxic stories and music, you could wind up living in the wrong universe, where it's impossible to become the gorgeous genius you were born to be.

That's why we implore you to nourish yourself with delicious, nutritious tales and tunes that inspire you to exercise your willpower for your highest good.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Libra (September 23-October 22)
You now have a special talent for connecting things that have never been connected. You also have a magic touch at uniting things that should be united but can't manage to do so under their own power. In fact, I'm inclined to believe that in the next three weeks you will be unusually lucky and adept at forging links, brokering truces, building bridges, and getting opposites to attract. I won't be surprised if you're able to compare apples and oranges in ways that make good sense and calm everyone down.

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Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Activist and author Naomi Klein tells a story about the time she traveled to Australia at the request of Aboriginal elders. They wanted her to know about their struggle to prevent white people from dumping radioactive wastes on their land.

Her hosts brought her to their beloved wilderness, where they camped under the stars. They showed her "secret sources of fresh water, plants used for bush medicines, hidden eucalyptus-lined rivers where the kangaroos come to drink."

After three days, Klein grew restless. When were they going to get down to business? "Before you can fight," she was told, "you have to know what you are fighting for."


 
  Verticle Oracle card Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
In 1989, Amy Tan birthed her first novel, The Joy Luck Club. Her next, The Kitchen God's Wife, came out in 1991. Both were bestsellers. Within a few years, the student study guide publisher CliffsNotes did with them what it has done with many masterpieces of world literature: produced condensed summaries for use by students too lazy to read all of the originals. "In spite of my initial shock," Tan said, "I admit that I am perversely honored to be in CliffsNotes." It was a sign of success to get the same treatment as superstar authors like Shakespeare and James Joyce. The CliffsNotes approach is currently an operative metaphor in your life, Scorpio. Try to find it in your heart to be honored, even if it's perversely so. For the most part, trimming and shortening and compressing will be beneficial.

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Would you like to hear me say some more about your ever-evolving destiny? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The Maasai people of Kenya don't have running water, toilets, or electricity, and their per capita income is $300 a year. They use cattle dung as plaster in building their homes because the scent helps repel lions, which dislike it, from venturing too close. And yet they are as happy with their lives as Forbes' magazine's "400 richest Americans" are with theirs -- even though the latter may live in 10,000-square-foot palaces with stained glass windows, French patio doors, limestone kitchen counter tops, spas, wine cellars, and Olympic-sized swimming pools.

This assertion comes from "Beyond Money: Toward an Economy of Well-Being," a report done by psychologists Ed Diener and Martin E. P. Seligman. On a scale of 1 to 7, where 1 is "extremely dissatisfied," 4 is "neutral," and 7 means "extremely satisfied," the Maasai, the Inuit of northern Greenland, and the wealthiest Americans all scored 5.8.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
With both symbolic and practical actions, Sagittarius-born Pope Francis has tried to reframe the message of the Catholic Church. He's having public showers installed for the homeless in Vatican City. He has made moves to dismantle the Church's bigotry toward gays. He regularly criticizes growing economic inequality, and keeps reminding politicians that there can be no peace and justice unless they take care of poor and marginalized people. He even invited iconic punk poet Patti Smith to perform at the Vatican Christmas Concert. You now have extra power to exert this kind of initiative in your own sphere, Sagittarius. Be proactive as you push for constructive transformations that will benefit all.

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Need more help deciphering the riddles and enigmas that are fueling your amazing story? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Dear Gorgeous Genius: You possess exceptional capacities that are absolutely unique. You're a masterpiece unlike any other that has ever lived in the history of the world.

Furthermore, the precise instructions you need to ripen into your genius have always been with you, even from the time before you were born. In the words of psychologist James Hillman, you have a soul's code.

You might also call it the special mission you came to Earth to carry out; the divine blueprint that contains the open secret of how to be perfectly, unpredictably yourself; the master plan that is your heart's deepest desire.

Would you like help in deciphering it? The Divine Intelligence Formerly Known as God is always on call, ready to help. It's your birthright to ask Her a specific question every day about what you need to do next to express your soul's code; it's also your birthright to receive a response.

The divine revelation may not be as unambiguous as a little voice in your head. It might appear in the form of a TV commercial, an odd dream, or an encounter with a stranger. It could be demanding and difficult, delivering information you'd rather not have to deal with. Or it might show up as a clear and simple feeling of knowing exactly what to do, and it could be easy and fun.


 
  Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
The limpet is an aquatic snail. When it's scared, it escapes at a rate approaching two inches per hour. If you get flustered in the coming week, Capricorn, I suggest you flee at a speed no faster than the limpet's. I'm making a little joke here. The truth is, if you do get into a situation that provokes anxiety, I don't think you should leave the scene at all. Why? There are two possibilities. First, you may be under the influence of mistaken ideas or habitual responses that are causing you to be nervous about something there's no need to be nervous about. Or second, if you are indeed in an authentic bind, you really do need to deal with it, not run away.

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No one knows you better than you do, but maybe I can help you dig up even more self-knowledge. Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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You know beyond any doubt that each of your heart's beats originates as a gift of love directly from the Goddess herself. You understand that the laws of physics are fine-tuned to create a universe in which you can thrive. You realize with visceral lucidity that everything you see is permeated with a single, unified conscious intelligence, of which you partake intimately. This intelligence is immortal, and thus, so are you. As you register the shocking joy of these truths imprinting themselves on your perfect body, every one of your cells purrs with luminous gratitude.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Aquarius (January 20- February 18)
Science-fiction novelist Philip K. Dick has been one of my favorite authors since I discovered his work years ago. I love how he reconfigured my mind with his metaphysical riffs about politics and his prophetic questions about what's real and what's not. Recently I discovered he once lived in a house that's a few blocks from where I now live. While he was there, he wrote two of his best books. I went to the place and found it was unoccupied. That night I slept in a sleeping bag on the back porch, hoping to soak up inspiration. It worked! Afterwards, I had amazing creative breakthroughs for days. I recommend a comparable ritual for you, Aquarius. Go in quest of greatness that you want to rub off on you.

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Wouldn't you love to learn more about who you really are? What better adventure is there than learning about your soul's code? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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In honor of your enhanced power to be yourself, I hereby reward you with a host of fresh titles. From now on you will be known as the Senior Vice President of Strawberry Fields and Hummingbirds, and the Deputy Director of Green Lights and Purple Hearts. Consider yourself, as well, to be the new Puzzle-Master Supreme, the Chief Custodian of Secret Weapons, and Field Commander of Free Lunches and Poetic Licenses.


 
  Verticle Oracle card Pisces (February 19-March 18)
Do you enjoy telling people what to do? Are you always scheming to increase your influence over everyone whose life you touch? If you are a typical Pisces, the answer to those questions is no. The kind of power you are interested in is power over yourself. You mostly want to be the boss of you. Right now is a favorable time to intensify your efforts to succeed in this glorious cause. I suggest you make aggressive plans to increase your control over your own destiny.

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I hope the oracle above provides you with the inspiration you need to do what you've got to do and change what needs to be changed. But if you need more clues, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Consider the possibility that the people who seem to slow us down and hold us back are actually preventing things from happening too fast. Imagine that the evolution of your life or our culture is like a pregnancy: It needs to reach its full term. Just as a child isn't ready to be born after five months of gestation, the New Earth we're creating has to ripen in its own time. The recalcitrant reactionaries who resist the inevitable birth are simply making sure that the far-seeing revolutionaries don't conjure the future too suddenly. They serve the greater good.



 
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