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Horoscopes for week of December 31, 2015

Verticle Oracle card Aries (March 21-April 19)
John Koenig is an artist who invents new words. Here's one that's applicable to your journey in 2016: "keyframe." Koenig defines it as being a seemingly mundane phase of your life that is in fact a turning point. Major plot twists in your big story arrive half-hidden amidst a stream of innocuous events. They don't come about through "a series of jolting epiphanies," Koenig says, but rather "by tiny imperceptible differences between one ordinary day and the next." In revealing this secret, I hope I've alerted you to the importance of acting with maximum integrity and excellence in your everyday routine.

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Would you like to brainstorm about the adventures that may be in store for you in the coming months? This week and the next two weeks, my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES will feature long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2016. Tune in!

Register and/or log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for 2016."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Here are three of our deepest spiritual aspirations, which we invite you to steal for your own use:

1. to develop the capacity to thrive in the midst of raging contradictions;

2. to be discerning as we protect ourselves from people's flaws while at the same time being generous as we celebrate their beauty;

3. to refrain from dividing the world into two groups, those who help and agree with us and those who don't.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Taurus (April 20-May 20)
The coming months look like one of the best times ever for your love life. Old romantic wounds are finally ready to be healed. You'll know what you have to do to shed tired traditions and bad habits that have limited your ability to get the spicy sweetness you deserve. Are you up for the fun challenge? Be horny for deep feelings. Be exuberantly aggressive in honoring your primal yearnings. Use your imagination to dream up new approaches to getting what you want. The innovations in intimacy that you initiate in the coming months will keep bringing you gifts and teachings for years to come.

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What new influences will be headed your way in 2016? What fresh resources will you be able to draw on? This week and the next two weeks, my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES will feature long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2016. Tune in! Start imagining what's possible for you in the coming months.

Register and/or log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for 2016."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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I don't know how to break this to you . . . and I realize it might come as a shock . . . but . . . are you ready? . . . You are God! The pure raw virgin snake mojo of the Universal Wow Power is flowing through your nervous system as if you were a supremely lovable messiah. You are so thoroughly infused with transcendental froufrou, so attuned to the higher purpose of woowoo, that it is hard if not impossible for you to make mistakes.

Don't fret, though. Your stint as the Wild Sublime Golden Master of Reality probably won't last for more than two eons, three tops. I'm sure that won't be long enough for you to turn into a raving megalomaniac with millions of cult followers.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Gemini (May 21-June 20)
In ancient times, observers of the sky knew the difference between stars and planets. The stars remained fixed in their places. The planets wandered around, always shifting positions in relationship to the stars. But now and then, at irregular intervals, a very bright star would suddenly materialize out of nowhere, stay in the same place for a while, and then disappear. Chinese astronomers called these "guest stars." We refer to them as supernovae. They are previously dim or invisible stars that explode, releasing tremendous energy for a short time. I suspect that in 2016, you may experience the metaphorical equivalent of a guest star. Learn all you can from it. It'll provide teachings and blessings that could feed you for years.

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Would you like some inspiration as you muse and wonder about your upcoming adventures in 2016? This week and the next two weeks, my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES will feature long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2016. Tune in!

Register and/or log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for 2016."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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What is the holiest river in the world? Some might say the Ganges in India. Others would propose the Jordan River or the River Nile. But I say the holiest river is the one that's closest to where you are right now.

Go to that river and commune with it. Throw a small treasure into it as an offering. Next, find a holy sidewalk to walk on, praise the holiness in a bus driver, kiss a holy tree, and shop at a holy store.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Be alert for an abundance of interesting lessons in 2016. You will be offered teachings about a variety of practical subjects, including how to take care of yourself really well, how to live the life you want to live, and how to build the connections that serve your dreams. If you are even moderately responsive to the prompts and nudges that come your way, you will become smarter than you thought possible. So just imagine how savvy you'll be if you ardently embrace your educational opportunities. (Please note that some of these opportunities may be partially in disguise.)

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How can you conspire with life to create the best possible future for yourself? This week and the next two weeks, my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES will feature long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2016. Tune in! Start dreaming and scheming about what's possible for you in the coming months.

Register and/or log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for 2016."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Go to the ugliest or most forlorn place you know -- a drugstore parking lot, the front porch of a crack house, a toxic waste dump, or the place that symbolizes your secret shame -- and build a shrine devoted to beauty, truth, and love.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Leo (July 23-August 22)
The silkworm grows fast. Once it hatches, it eats constantly for three weeks. By the time it spins its cocoon, it's 10,000 times heavier than it was in the beginning. On the other hand, a mature, 60-foot-tall saguaro cactus may take 30 years to fully grow a new side arm. It's in no hurry. From what I can tell, Leo, 2015 was more like a silkworm year for you, whereas 2016 will more closely resemble a saguaro. Keep in mind that while the saguaro phase is different from your silkworm time, it's just as important.

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Would you like to brainstorm about the adventures that may be in store for you in the coming months? This week and the next two weeks, my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES will feature long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2016. Tune in!

Register and/or log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for 2016."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Are other people luckier than you? If so, psychologist Richard Wiseman says you can do something about it. His book *The Luck Factor* presents research that proves you can learn to be lucky. It's not a mystical force you're born with, he says, but a habit you can develop.

How? For starters, be open to new experiences, trust your gut wisdom, expect good fortune, see the bright side of challenging events, and master the art of maximizing serendipitous opportunities.


 
  Verticle Oracle card Virgo (August 23-September 22)
"The sky calls me," wrote Virgo teacher and poet Sri Chinmoy. "The wind calls me. The moon and stars call me. The dense groves call me. The dance of the fountain calls me. Smiles call me, tears call me. A faint melody calls me. The morn, noon and eve call me. Everyone is searching for a playmate. Everyone is calling me, 'Come, come!'" In 2016, Virgo, I suspect you will have a lot of firsthand experience with feelings like these. Sometimes life's seductiveness may overwhelm you, activating confused desires to go everywhere and do everything. On other occasions, you will be enchanted by the lush invitations, and will know exactly how to respond and reciprocate.

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What hidden factors will be massaging your destiny in 2016? Could you use some hints about how to prepare for the adventures awaiting you in the coming months? This week and the next two weeks, my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES will feature long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2016. Tune in!

Register and/or log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for 2016."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Write the following on a piece of red paper and keep it under your pillow. "I, [put your name here], do solemnly swear on this day, [put date here], that I will devote myself for a period of seven days to learning my most important desire. No other thought will be more uppermost in my mind. No other concern will divert me from tracking down every clue that might assist me in my drive to ascertain the one experience in this world that deserves my brilliant passion above all others."



 
  Verticle Oracle card Libra (September 23-October 22)
In the 19th century, horses were a primary mode of personal transportation. Some people rode them, and others sat in carriages and wagons that horses pulled. But as cities grew larger, a problem emerged: the mounting manure left behind on the roads. It became an ever-increasing challenge to clear away the equine "pollution." In 1894, a British newspaper predicted that the streets of London would be covered with nine feet of the stuff by 1950. But then something unexpected happened: cars. Gradually, the threat of an excremental apocalypse waned. I present this story as an example of what I expect for you in 2016: a pressing dilemma that will gradually dissolve because of the arrival of a factor you can't imagine yet.

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What will be the story of your life in 2016? How can you exert your free will to create the adventures that'll bring out the best in you, even as you find graceful ways to cooperate with the tides of destiny? This week and the next two weeks, my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES will feature long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2016. Tune in!

Register and/or log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for 2016."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Those who explore pronoia often find they have a growing capacity to help people laugh at themselves. While few arbiters of morality recognize this skill as a mark of high character, I put it near the top of my list. In my view, inducing people to take themselves less seriously is a supreme virtue.

Do you have any interest in cultivating it? How might you go about it?


 
  Verticle Oracle card Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
The longest river in the world flows through eastern Africa: the Nile. It originates below the equator and empties into the Mediterranean Sea. Although its current flows north, its prevailing winds blow south. That's why sailors have found it easily navigable for thousands of years. They can either go with the flow of the water or use sails to harness the power of the breeze. I propose that we make the Nile your official metaphor in 2016, Scorpio. You need versatile resources that enable you to come and go as you please -- that are flexible in supporting your efforts to go where you want and when you want.

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Would you like some inspiration as you muse and wonder about your upcoming adventures in 2016? This week and the next two weeks, my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES will feature long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2016. Tune in!

Register and/or log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for 2016."

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The greatest gift you can give might be the gift that you yourself were never given. Give that gift.

The most valuable service you have to offer your fellow humans may be the service you have always wished were performed for you. Offer that service.

An experience that wounded you could move you to help people who've been similarly wounded. Heal yourself by healing others.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
In many cases, steel isn't fully useful if it's too hard. Manufacturers often have to soften it a bit. This process, which is called tempering, makes the steel springier and more malleable. Car parts, for example, can't be too rigid. If they were, they'd break too easily. I invite you to use "tempering" as one of your main metaphors in 2016, Sagittarius. You're going to be strong and vigorous, and those qualities will serve you best if you keep them flexible. Do you know the word "ductile"? If not, look it up. It'll be a word of power for you.

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What new influences will be headed your way in 2016? What fresh resources will you be able to draw on? This week and the next two weeks, my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES will feature long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2016. Tune in! Start imagining what's possible for you in the coming months.

Register and/or log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for 2016."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The primary meaning of the word "healing" is "to cure what's diseased or broken." Medical practitioners focus on sick people. Philanthropists donate their money and social workers contribute their time to helping the underprivileged. Psychotherapists wrestle with their clients' traumas and neuroses. I'm in awe of them all. The level of one's spiritual wisdom, I believe, is more accurately measured by helping people in need than by meditation skills, shamanic shapeshifting, supernatural powers, or esoteric knowledge.

But I also believe in a second kind of healing that is largely unrecognized: to supercharge what is already healthy; to lift up what's merely sufficient to a sublime state. Using this definition, describe two acts of healing: one you would enjoy performing on yourself and another you'd like to provide for someone you love.


 
  Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
In his essay "The Etiquette of Freedom," poet Gary Snyder says that wildness "is perennially within us, dormant as a hard-shelled seed, awaiting the fire or flood that awakes it again." The fact that it's a "hard-shelled" seed is a crucial detail. The vital stuff inside the stiff outer coating may not be able to break out and start growing without the help of a ruckus. A fire or flood? They might do the job. But I propose, Capricorn, that in 2016 you find an equally vigorous but less disruptive prod to liberate your dormant wildness. Like what? You could embark on a brave pilgrimage or quest. You could dare yourself to escape your comfort zone. Are there any undomesticated fantasies you've been suppressing? Unsuppress them!

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What will be the story of your life in 2016? How can you exert your free will to create the adventures that'll bring out the best in you, even as you find graceful ways to cooperate with the tides of destiny? This week and the next two weeks, my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES will feature long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2016. Tune in!

Register and/or log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for 2016."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"This body that we have, this very body thatís sitting here right now in this room, this very body that perhaps aches, and this mind that we have at this very moment, are exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, and fully alive.

"Furthermore, the emotions that we have right now, the negativity and the positivity, are what we actually need. It is just as if we looked around to find out what would be the greatest wealth that we could possibly possess in order to lead to a decent, good, completely fulfilling, energetic, inspired life, and found it right here."

- Jack Kornfield



 
  Verticle Oracle card Aquarius (January 20- February 18)
Frederick the Great was King of Prussia between 1740 and 1786. He was also an Aquarius who sometimes experimented with eccentric ideas. When he brewed his coffee, for example, he used champagne instead of water. Once the hot elixir was ready to drink, he mixed in a dash of powdered mustard. In light of the astrological omens, I suspect that Frederick's exotic blend might be an apt symbol for your life in 2016: a vigorous, rich, complex synthesis of champagne, coffee, and mustard. (P.S. Frederick testified that "champagne carries happiness to the brain.")

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What new influences will be headed your way in 2016? What fresh resources will you be able to draw on? This week and the next two weeks, my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES will feature long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2016. Tune in! Start imagining what's possible for you in the coming months.

Register and/or log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for 2016."

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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I love your pilgrim soul and I love your ever-deepening eyes.

I love how unflinchingly you peer into the heart of your own darkness.

I love how you're making yourself more and more receptive to truths in their wild states.

I love how you can dive into your in passion but never shirk your commitment to the good and the true.

I admire the way you never bear a grudge against the mountains that are in your way, but rather just set to work getting around them.

I love your commitment to deciphering the code you left for yourself before you came into this life.


 
  Verticle Oracle card Pisces (February 19-March 18)
My Piscean acquaintance Arturo plays the piano as well as anyone I've heard. He tells me that he can produce 150 different sounds from any single key. Using the foot pedals accounts for some of the variation. How he touches a key is an even more important factor. It can be percussive, fluidic, staccato, relaxed, lively, and many other moods. I invite you to cultivate a similar approach to your unique skills in 2016. Expand and deepen your ability to draw out the best in them. Learn how to be even more expressive with the powers you already possess.

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How can you conspire with life to create the best possible future for yourself? This week and the next two weeks, my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES will feature long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2016. Tune in! Start dreaming and scheming about what's possible for you in the coming months.

Register and/or log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for 2016."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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EXPERIMENT: Be scarier than your fears. If an anxious thought pops into your mind, bare your teeth and growl, "Get out of here or I will rip you to shreds!" If a demon visits you in a nightly dream, chase after it with a torch and sword, screaming "Begone, foul spirit, or I will burn your mangy ass!"

Don't tolerate bullying in any form, whether it comes from a critical little voice in your head or from supposedly nice people who are trying to guilt-trip you. "I am a brave conqueror who cannot be intimidated!" is what you could say, or "I am a monster of love and goodness who will defeat all threats to my integrity!"



 
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