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Horoscopes for week of March 24, 2016

Verticle Oracle card Aries (March 21-April 19)
When Orville and Wilbur Wright were kids, their father gave them a toy helicopter powered by a rubber band. The year was 1878. Twenty-five years later, the brothers became the first humans to sail above the earth in a flying machine. They testified that the toy helicopter had been a key inspiration as they worked to develop their pioneering invention. In the spirit of the Wright Brothers' magic seed, Aries, I invite you to revive your connection to a seminal influence from your past. The coming weeks will be a favorable time to feed a dream that was foreshadowed in you a long time ago.

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Sometimes it's a challenge to try to figure out what's important and what's not important. If you'd like more of my input, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Activist and author Naomi Klein tells a story about the time she traveled to Australia at the request of Aboriginal elders. They wanted her to know about their struggle to prevent white people from dumping radioactive wastes on their land.

Her hosts brought her to their beloved wilderness, where they camped under the stars. They showed her "secret sources of fresh water, plants used for bush medicines, hidden eucalyptus-lined rivers where the kangaroos come to drink."

After three days, Klein grew restless. When were they going to get down to business? "Before you can fight," she was told, "you have to know what you are fighting for."



 
  Verticle Oracle card Taurus (April 20-May 20)
"The task of a writer is not to solve the problem but to state the problem correctly," said Russian writer Anton Chekhov. Whether or not you're a writer, Taurus, that is also your special task in the coming weeks. The riddle that has begun to captivate your imagination is not yet ripe enough for you to work on in earnest. It has not been defined with sufficient clarity. Luckily, you have the resources you need to research all the contingencies, and you have the acuity to come up with a set of empowering questions.

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How well is your imagination working these days? Could it use a boost? A prod? A jolt of inspiration? Try tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"In purely spiritual matters, God grants all desires," said philosopher and activist Simone Weil. "Those who have less have asked for less." I think this is a worthy hypothesis for you to try out.

To be clear: It doesn't necessarily mean you will get a dream job and perfect lover and ten million dollars. What it does suggest is this: You can have any relationship with the Divine Wow that you dare to imagine; you can get all the grace you need to understand why your life is the way it is; you can make tremendous progress as you do the life-long work of liberating yourself from your suffering.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Gemini (May 21-June 20)
The good news is that if you eat enormous amounts of chocolate, you will boost your memory. Science has proved it. The bad news is that in order to get the full effect of the memory enhancement, you would have to consume so much chocolate that you would get sick. I propose that we consider this scenario as a metaphor for what may be going on in your life. Is it possible you're doing things that are healthy for you in one way but that diminish you in another? Or are you perhaps getting or doing too much of a good thing -- going to unbalanced extremes as you pursue a worthy goal? Now is a favorable time to figure out if you're engaged in such behavior, and to change it if you are.

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Want more clues? Need further insight? For more evocative questions and pithy suggestions about your unfolding destiny, check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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A reader calling herself Rebellioness collaborated with me to come up with five revolutionized approaches to the art of rebellion. I present them here for your use.

1. Experiment with uppity, mischievous optimism.

2. Invoke insurrectionary levels of wildly interesting generosity.

3. Indulge in an insolent refusal to be chronically fearful.

4. Pursue a cheeky ambition to be as wide-awake as a dissident young messiah.

5. Bring reckless levels of creative intelligence to all expressions of love.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Cancer (June 21-July 22)
When the young director Richard Lester got his big break, he took full advantage. It happened in 1964, when the early Beatles asked him to do their first movie, A Hard Day's Night. Lester's innovative approach to the project propelled his career to a higher level that brought him many further opportunities. Writing of Lester's readiness, critic Alexander Walker said, "No filmmaker . . . appeared more punctually when his hour struck." That's what I hope you will soon be doing in your own chosen field, Cancerian. Do you understand how important it will be to have impeccable timing? No procrastination or hemming and hawing, please. Be crisply proactive.

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How much do you want to know about your life? How far do you dare to go in your quest for self-mastery? For more insight into your intriguing fate, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Have you ever been loved? I bet you have been loved so much and so deeply that you have become blasť about the immensity of the grace it confers.

So let me remind you: To be loved is a privilege and prize equivalent to being born. If you're smart, you pause regularly to bask in the astonishing knowledge that there are many people out there who care for you and want you to thrive and hold you in their thoughts with fondness. Animals, too: You have been the recipient of their boundless affection. The spirits of allies who've left this world continue to send their tender regards, as well.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Leo (July 23-August 22)
As a young man, the poet Arthur Rimbaud (1854-1891) left his home in France and settled in Abyssinia, which these days is known as Ethiopia. "I sought voyages," he wrote, "to disperse the enchantments that had colonized my mind." You might want to consider a similar strategy in the coming weeks, Leo. From an astrological perspective, it's going to be an excellent time both to wander free of your usual haunts and to disperse the enchantments that have colonized your mind. Why not find ways to synergize these two opportunities?

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Would you like to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life? Do you want to uncover the secrets you've been hiding even from yourself? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Christopher Bamford says: "As a free deed, meditation is naturally individual, uniquely our own. It is where we most fully become ourselves. Its practice is also always individual. There are no rules.

"Just as every potter will elaborate his or her own way of making pots, so every person who meditates will shape his or her own meditation. No two people will do a given meditation in exactly the same way. The same meditation practiced daily will be different every time.

"Every meditation is experimental. One never knows what is going to happen. Improvisation is essential . . . Meditation is something to play with . . . There is no 'wrong' way of doing the meditation, except not doing it!"


 
  Verticle Oracle card Virgo (August 23-September 22)
At one point in his life, author C. S. Lewis had a rude awakening as he took stock of the progress he thought he had been making. "I am appalled to see how much of the change I thought I had undergone lately was only imaginary," he wrote. I want to make sure that something similar doesn't happen to you, Virgo. You're in the midst of what should be a Golden Age of Self-Transformation. Make sure you're actually doing the work that you imagine you're doing -- and not just talking about it and thinking about it.

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Do you wish you could get more clarity about the foggy, ambiguous situations you're dealing with? Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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I wish you joyous and mysterious eruptions of profound gratification and gratitude.

I wish you fluid insights and "ah-ha!" revelations that lead to cathartic integrations on a regular basis.

I wish you the ripening of lucky trends you've worked hard to earn, resulting in the kind of healing that allows your generosity to flow.

I wish you captivating yet relaxing adventures that enable you to weave together diverse threads of your experience, inspiring you to feel at home in the world.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Libra (September 23-October 22)
"There are questions that you don't ask because you're afraid of the answers," wrote Agatha Christie. I would add that there are also questions you don't ask because you mistakenly think you already know the answers. And then there are questions you don't ask because their answers would burst your beloved illusions, which you'd rather preserve. I'm here to urge you to risk posing all these types of questions, Libra. I think you're strong enough and smart enough, and in just the right ways, to deal constructively with the answers. I'm not saying you'll be pleased with everything you find out. But you will ultimately be glad you finally made the inquiries.

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Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Would you like help in solving the riddles that confuse you? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Some of your illusions seeped into you before you learned to talk. Others sneaked into you later, while you were busy figuring out how to become yourself. Eventually, you even made conscious choices to adopt certain illusions because they provided you with comfort and consolation.

There's no need to be ashamed of this. It's a natural part of being a human being.

Now here's the good news: You have the power to shed at least some of your illusions in ways that don't shatter your foundations.

To begin the process, declare this intention at noon every Sunday for the next six months: "I am calling on all the power I have at my disposal, both conscious and unconscious, to dissolve my illusions."


 
  Verticle Oracle card Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
If you are enmeshed in a jumble that makes you squirm or if you are caught in a tangle that stifles your self-love, you have three choices. Here's how Eckhart Tolle defines them: 1. Get out of the situation. 2. Transform the situation. 3. Completely accept the situation. Does that sound reasonable, Scorpio? I hope so, because the time has come to act. Don't wait to make your decision. Do it soon. After that, there will be no whining allowed. You can no longer indulge in excuses. You must accept the consequences. On the bright side, imagine the new freedom and power you will have at your disposal.

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Need more help in figuring out the questions life is asking you? Crave more support in your efforts to build your courage? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Make the invisible dark force beautiful. Create a song out of your moans. Brag about your wounds. Dance reverently on the graves of your enemies. Sneak a gift to your bad self. Dissolve the ties that bind you to hollow intelligence.

Train yourself in the art of unpredictability. Play forever in time's blessing. Lift up your heart unto the wild sun. Distribute your favors to the little ones who can never pay you back. Fall out of love with fear. Make beautiful messes in the midst of ugly messes.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
Here's a proposed experiment. Sidle up to a creature you'd love to be closer to, and softly sing the following lyrics: "Come with me, go with me. Burn with me, glow with me. Sleep with me, wake with me." At this point, run three circles around the creature as you flap your arms like a birds' wings. Then continue your singing: "Rise with me, fall with me. Work with me, play with me. Pray with me, sin with me." At this point, leap up into the air three times, unleashing a burst of laughter each time you hit the ground. Continue singing: "Let me get high with you. Laugh with you, cry with you. Make me your partner in crime." At this point blow three kisses toward the creature, then run away. (P.S. The lyrics I'm quoting here were composed by songwriter Fran Landesman.)

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What fresh blessings will life bring you? What questions should you be asking? To explore the ripening trends further, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Maybe you're better than you think you are at gliding, flowing, leaping, skipping, twirling, undulating, reverberating, galloping, and rub-a-dub-dubbing.

It's possible that with just a small attitude adjustment you could be an expert at rumbling, romping, rollicking, cavorting, and zip-a-dap-doodling.

If you really love your body and throw off some of the inhibitions you might have about celebrating your instinctual nature, you may drop to the low end of the scale in performing these activities: shuffling, drooping, mumbling, wallowing, pigeonholing, and pussyfooting.


 
  Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
In getting energy from food, we humans have at our disposal over 50,000 edible plants. And yet we choose to concentrate on just a few. Wheat, corn, rice, and potatoes make up two-thirds of our diet, and 11 other staples comprise most of the rest. Let's use this as a metaphor for the kind of behavior you should avoid in the coming weeks. I think it will be crucial for you to draw physical, emotional, and spiritual sustenance from a relatively wide variety of sources. There's nothing wrong with your usual providers, but for now you need to expand your approach to getting the nurturing you need.

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Want to explore this chapter of your life story even further? Dig deeper? Push harder? Consider tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Even if you don't call yourself an artist, you have the potential to be a dynamic creator who is always hatching new plans, coming up with fresh ideas, and shifting your approach to everything you do as you adjust to life's ceaseless invitation to change.

It's to this part of you -- the restless, inventive spirit -- that I address the following: Unleash yourself! Don't be satisfied with the world the way it is; don't sit back passively and blankly complain about the dead weight of the mediocre status quo.

Instead, call on your curiosity and charisma and expressiveness and lust for life as you tinker with and rebuild everything you see so that it's in greater harmony with the laws of love and more hospitable to your soul's code.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Aquarius (January 20- February 18)
"We teach each other how to live." Poet Anne Michaels said that, and now I'm passing it on to you -- just in time for the phase of your cycle when acting like a curious student is your sacred duty and your best gift to yourself. I don't necessarily mean that you should take a workshop or enroll in a school. Your task is to presume that everyone you meet and every encounter you have may bring you rich learning experiences. If you're willing to go as far as I hope you will, even your dreams at night will be opportunities to get further educated. Even your vigils in front of the TV. Even your trips to the convenience store to buy ice cream.

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You're got more strength and intelligence than you realize. For help in accessing those untapped inner resources, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Kenneth Patchen suggests:

1. Discourage all traces of shame.
2. Bear no cross.
3. Extend all boundaries.
4. Blush perpetually in gaping innocence.
5. Burrow beneath the subconscious.
6. Pass from one world to another in carefree devotion.
7. Exhaust the primitive.
8. Generate the free brain.
9. Forego no succulent filth.
10. Verify the irrational.
11. Acquire a sublime reputation.
12. Make one monster at least.
13. Multiply all opinions.
14. Inhabit everyone.


 
  Verticle Oracle card Pisces (February 19-March 18)
In her poem "Time," Piscean poet Lia Purpura wonders about "not picking up a penny because it's only a little luck." Presumably she is referring to a moment when you're walking down a street and you spy an almost-but-not-quite-worthless coin lying on the concrete. She theorizes that you may just leave it there. It adds next to nothing to your wealth, right? Which suggests that it also doesn't have much value as a symbol of good fortune. But I urge you to reject this line of thought in the coming weeks, Pisces. In my astrological opinion, you'll be wise to capitalize on the smallest opportunities. There will be plenty of them, and they *will* add up.

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How are you going to change what needs to be changed and accept what needs to be accepted? To get some support from me, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"I've found a nice balance," writes EarthMover, one of my readers, "between living like someone who has overdosed on delusional optimism and someone who thinks everything and everyone sucks. I can see things as they really are instead of through either rose-colored glasses or crap-colored glasses.

"That means I can cultivate true objectivity, not the fake cynical kind. I free myself from negative emotional biases that used to cloud my ability to see the partially hidden beauty all around me.

"At the same time, I'm not addicted to the idea that I should be eternally happy and blithe and sweet. When the dark moods descend on me, I trust them. I know they are openings into equally sacred perceptions and insights."



 
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