Freewill Astrology
email this page


Horoscopes Beauty & Truth Lab Newsletter Personals Store Rob's Writings Rob's CDs PRopaganda Web of Allies
All Signs All Signs (printer-friendly) Horoscope Archives Expanded Audio Horoscopes
Aries Leo Sagittarius
Taurus Virgo Capricorn
Gemini Libra Aquarius
Cancer Scorpio Pisces
 
 
Scorpio Horoscope for week of August 25, 2016

Verticle Oracle card Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
From what I can tell, your vigor is peaking. In recent weeks, you have been sturdy, hearty, stout, and substantial. I expect this surge of strength to intensify in the near future -- even as it becomes more fluid and supple. In fact, I expect that your waxing power will teach you new secrets about how to wield your power intelligently. You may break your previous records for compassionate courage and sensitive toughness. Here's the best news of all: You're likely to be dynamic about bestowing practical love on the people and animal and things that are important to you.

*

Wouldn't you love to learn more about who you really are? What better adventure is there than learning about your soul's code? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
*
Don't make nasty comments about yourself behind your own back.

Do play soccer in bunny slippers at dawn in a supermarket parking lot with a gang of sadomasochistic stockbrokers who've promised to teach you the Balinese monkey chant.

Don't decorate your thigh with a sloppy tattoo of the devil pushing a lawn mower.

Do wear a t-shirt that says, "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

Don't glide into a bar, scout around for the person whose face has the most pain etched in it, and ask that person to come home with you.

Do eat ripe organic strawberries that have been genetically modified and irradiated, and do chain-smoke Marlboros as you peddle your exercise bicycle, and do wander through a garbage dump while listening to Mozart on your iPod.

Don't get hooked on the fantasy that there are only two kinds of people, those who align themselves with the forces of light and those who align themselves with the forces of darkness.

Do start an organization called POMP (Proud Owners of Multiple Personalities), dedicated to erasing negative stereotypes about healthy non-schizophrenics who enjoy being a community of many different selves.

Don't lie on a floor surrounded by wine-stained poetry books, crumpled Matisse prints, abandoned underwear, and half-eaten bowls of corn flakes as you stare up at the ceiling with a mad gaze, muttering gibberish and waving your hands as if swatting away demons.

Do run along the tops of cars during a traffic jam, escaping from bad guys as you make your way to a helicopter that takes you to a spot hovering over an erupting volcano, into which you drop the Buns of Steel video.

Don't put your soul up for auction on the eBay website.

Do write a cookbook filled with recipes you've channeled from dead celebrities.

If you come upon a lamp with a genie in it, don't wish you had a magic wand.


 
 

Home       Help      Site Map      Privacy Policy      Email Rob