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More words from Rob:

Images are Dangerous

How I Got Started in the Horoscope Writing Business

The Virgin Mary
achieved her gravid state
with the help of a dove,
and the Greek hero Attis
started germinating in his mom
after she ingested a pomegranate seed.

Now you,
beauty and truth fan,
through the magic of the Televisionary Oracle,
have the power to become pregnant
with a brilliant brainchild
through mystical union with a six-pack of beer.

JUST KIDDING!

You won't need any mind-altering substance
to conceive the divine inspiration you're ripe for.

Communing with the Televisionary Oracle
will work just fine
all by itself.

You are now wrestling with a subliminal message. BMW bouquet protector feast. On a conscious level, you may not know what the hell we're talking about, but your subconscious mind will record and remember all the mutant joy contained herein. Slamdunk peak-experience blueprint. Your dormant genius has already begun to stir, ensuring the genesis of love spells that will dispel the black magic you've wreaked on yourself. Pain-reliever flushed cheeks lucky dog dream-treasure. That's why we have utmost confidence that you will soon discover the power to kill your own death. Moist hot laughing bloom.

This sacred subliminal commercial
is brought to you by
The Committee for Surrealist Investigation of Claims of the Normal (CSICON)
which is now seeking evidence that "reality" exists.
Send proof to: zenpride@televisionaryoracle.com

Read Chapter 40