Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of March 28th, 2024

♏ SCORPIO

(October 23-November 21)
Now would be an excellent time to seek liposuction, a facelift, Botox, buttocks augmentation, or hair transplants. Cosmic rhythms will be on your side if you change how you look. APRIL FOOL! Everything I just said was a lie. I’ve got nothing against cosmetic surgery, but now is not the right time to alter your appearance. Here’s the correct oracle: Shed your disguises, stop hiding anything about who you really are, and show how proud you are of your idiosyncrasies.

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SECOND CHANCE! If you missed the opportunity to hear my BIG-PICTURE, LONG-TERM AUDIO HOROSCOPES FOR 2024, I am making them available again for a week.

Log in as usual, scroll down a bit, and click on Part 1, Part 2, and/or Part 3 of your sign's Long-Term prediction. They all cover different ground. You don't need to hear the other two if just want to listen to one. But hearing all three is triple the fun.

You can also listen to an Expanded Audio Horoscope for the coming week.